


Rust Bucket.

by RussianSunflower3



Series: Answered ask meme answers [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Gen, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-18 08:39:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9377093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RussianSunflower3/pseuds/RussianSunflower3
Summary: "Do you even know how to fly this thing?!""Considering the fact I almost flew us into that building, I'm going to assume you know the answer."





	

Oh god, they’re late. They’re _late_.

“Iwa-chan, hurry the fuck up! We’re gonna miss it!”

“I’m coming, dumbass! Hold on!” Iwaizumi races after Oikawa, cursing the fact he chose to use a pull-along suitcase to their destination, instead of leaving most things there over summer break. And where is their destination?

Hogwarts. After coming home at the end of term, Oikawa and Iwaizumi are desperately late to reach Platform 9 ¾, simply because they had overslept. Honestly, Hanamaki and Matsukawa were going to roast them for _days_ after this. On the bright side, if any first years were late or lost, they’d be able to help. 

_**If**_ they even got there in time. Oikawa slaloms through the crowd, skidding onto platform nine. There’s no other wizarding families or individuals he recognises, and their two friends - who promised to wait as late as possible - are also missing from the scene.

“ _Iwa-chan, **run!**_ ” He screeches as he bolts forwards, noticing the brick wall starting to warp as the magic falls off it, and Oikawa hopes to dive through before it breaks-

He ends up running full-force into the wall and landing flat on his back with a groan. Iwaizumi jogs to halt beside him, dragging his wonky suitcase with him.

“Shit.”

“Yeah, shit.”

“ _Shit._ ”

“So eloquent, Iwa-chan. Can you help me up?” Iwaizumi does so, making sure Oikawa’s nose isn’t broken as well. It bleeds, but a quick tissue up the nostrils solves everything. There’s panic in both of their eyes as they look at where the portal to platform 9¾ used to be.

“Wh- What do we do now?” 

“I don’t- I don’t know.”

“We can’t miss the whole term! We’ll be _expelled_! Or worse, taken off the quidditch team! I only just got made _**captain**_ , Iwa-chan, this can’t be happening!” He shakes Iwaizumi’s shoulders with surprising strength, but Iwaizumi is blissfully patient and only grunts in annoyance before Oikawa releases him, sinking to the floor.

“What do we do…?” As Iwaizumi looks around, he searches for something that could help them. He closes his eyes to focus. But all he can hear is families talks and keys jingling, and someone mentioning something about a car.

Family… Keys... Car… He opens his eyes with a boyish grin, grabbing Oikawa’s hand and pulling him to his feet.

“I have an idea!” 

“What-?”

“Just trust me!” Oikawa does. He trusts Iwaizumi with every breath he takes. So he pulls his arm out of Iwaizumi’s grip and replaces it with his hand.

“Okay, show me your idea.”

If someone had told Oikawa Tooru when he woke up, that today would consist of running into a wall, getting tissues shoved up his nose, and being dragged to a rusty old garage - he wouldn’t have believed them. He would have scoffed and told them that he’d be at Hogwarts by now, sitting at the slytherin table waiting to see which new students would be joining them this year. 

But here he was. His face twists in disgust at the garage on the edge of a _pond_ , swampy water lapping at the back tires of a- a _rustbucket_ of a car. Iwaizumi is halfway through the window of the driver’s side, feet in the air and head disappearing under the dashboard. From the flickering sparks that appear every few minutes, Oikawa can only guess that he’s hijacking it.

“Iwa-chan, what the fuck.” Iwaizumi peeks up over the dashboard.

“Well, the handles on the door will fall off if you touch them. So I suggest climbing in the window or getting in the boot.”

“I’m not getting in the _boot_!” 

“Then get in the passenger seat.” Oikawa stares at him, baffled, until the rickety engine trembles to life and he jumps. The lights on the front are dim, one of them smashed. The grate looks like it’s going to fall off, and Oikawa is pretty sure the ceiling is somehow dented.

“Iwa-chan, how is this not-even-scrap-worthy junk going to get us to Hogwarts?”

“Easy. Because it’s a _flying_ car. Sure, it’s a little beat up, but that’s just because mum flew it into the Whomping Willow.” Oikawa whips his head back to Iwaizumi with a comical expression of; _“What the fuck, I’m not getting in that death trap, it’s going to fall apart and we’ll die, I’d rather just miss the term”_ -

Iwaizumi, however, is not having any of Oikawa’s moods dampening his spirit. He thought of a way to get them to Hogwarts, he’s going to get them to Hogwarts.

“Get in the car.”

“No thanks, the world needs me.”

“Get in the car, Oikawa.” With an exaggerated groan of exasperation, Oikawa drags his feet over to the passenger side of the car and reluctantly wriggles in the window. Iwaizumi grins at him victoriously from the driver’s seat, and Oikawa stares vehemently out the front window, sinking into the uncomfortable seat with a heavy pout on his lips. 

“Don’t give me that look, I’m getting us to Hogwarts.”

“Firstly, I’m not looking at you. Secondly, I’d quite like to arrive _alive_ , and in one piece if you’d be so kind.”

“The more you sass me, the more unlikely that seems.”

“Rude.” Iwaizumi rolls his eyes, but instead sets his focus on getting the car started properly, rather than just a rumbling engine that… Sounds more like bubbly hiccups. Maybe Oikawa has a point, but Iwaizumi isn’t going back now. He has his own pride too, thank you very much.

“Buckle up, we’re hitting the skies.” He activates the cloaking device, making sure it’s fully working, before pressing his foot down on the pedal. 

Now, being and old, beaten up car, Iwaizumi is expecting it to lurch and putter along before starting a steady climb up to the clouds. What he isn’t expecting - and exactly what happens - is for the car to rocket into the sky like some kind of spaceship, at the speed of a racecar, leaving him and Oikawa screaming as much as they can before G-force stretches their faces so much that they can’t possibly produce sound. 

Iwaizumi manages to lift his foot off the pedal to about halfway, and the car slows to something more manageable - like an airplane. He and Oikawa nervously laugh, before Oikawa lunges across the space between their seat and grabs Iwaizumi’s collar, frantic panic in his eyes.

“What were you thinking?! You’re going to kill us before we ever get halfway! We should have stayed home, we should have _stayed_! Oh my god, Iwa-chan, we’re going to die!”

“I’m giving you 5 seconds to remove your hands from my neck before I headbutt you. 5… 4… 3…” Oikawa sags back into his seat with a fake sob of defeat, burying his face in his hands. Iwaizumi rolls his eyes, puts his hands on the steering wheel whilst still watching Oikawa. He feels guilty, to say the least. This was supposed to solve their problems, not create new ones.

“I’m sorry. I should have listened to you.”

“Yes, you should have!” Oikawa’s complaint almost echoes in the car as Iwaizumi bites his lip, looking down at his knees in guilt. Oikawa peeks out from between his fingers and sighs, instead reaching across to put one hand on Iwaizumi’s shoulder.

“But I know you’re only trying your best because I wanted to go so badly.” 

“... Why don’t I just get us to Hogsmeade? We can take a carriage from there.” Oikawa sighs in relief.

“That’s a wonderful idea, Iwa-chan.” Iwaizumi grins at him and looks back out the front window-

“HOLY SHIT.” -and promptly swerves to avoid a building, only to send them almost crashing into another when he overcompensates, sending the car into a spin where he and Oikawa are clutching to their seats for dear life.

“Do you even know _how_ to drive this thing?!”

“Considering the fact I almost flew us into that building, I’m going to assume you know the answer!” Something looms in front of them, and they can tell they’re approaching it because it gets bigger every time the front window is facing it and, understandably, they scream. 

By some great surprise, they don’t crash. Or rather, they do, but it’s a remarkably steady landing, like the car has-

“Oh look, I accidentally hit the self-parking button.” Oikawa runs his hands down his face, sure that the trip has shaved years off his life. Looking around… He’s sure they’re not in London anymore. He’s sure they’re not in the _Muggle World_ anymore.

“... So, Iwa-chan. I must admit I’m astounded and concerned by how much you must unconsciously _want to **die.**_ ” Iwaizumi narrows his eyes at Oikawa, raising an eyebrow in question, to which Oikawa gestures out his window. Tangled roots and tall trees with an eerie mist and creepy whispers of wind slithering through the undergrowth proves that he must have somehow landed them in the Dark Forest.

“... Oh. Well, if we walk west, we should find Hagrid’s hut and get to Hogwarts. Easy peasy.”

“Iwa-chan, I’m _never_ letting you find a solution again.”


End file.
